sweet nightmares
by writingforever12
Summary: Set in season 15 during beasts obsession when Elliot comes back thx to all the fans who helped me Kathy's death will be explained in later chapters BENSLER FOREVER AND ALWAYS! R
1. Chapter 1

**soz for a rough start it will iimprove and I just wanna say thanks to all the dedicated fans on FB who helped me out thx guys you're awesome!**

I was awakened by a loud knock on my door. "Olivia!" a voice called and I cautiously made my way to the door. I looked through the peephole and saw Elliot. "Elliot what the hell are you- wait Elliot?" I asked and he nodded, I could tell something was wrong especially because he addressed me by my full name instead of Liv. I invited him in and he sat on the couch but I was still looking for an answer.

"I-it's Kathy" he said shakily and I nodded waiting for him to continue. "She's dead" he said putting his head in his hands.

"What!? I asked and he started to explain his situation to me. The whole time he spoke all I could think was, Elliot just shows up at my door and was like hey liv forget about your life for a sec Kathy's dead so I decided to finally talk to you after three years, I don't think so.

"Elliot I really can't do this right now" I sighed and he just gave me a look I have never seen him look at me like that before. "Oh I'm sorry do you have someone over?" he asked and I looked at him, my anger starting to get the better of me.

"What do you think I am a prostitute?!" I yelled and he shook his head quickly.

"Jesus no" he said and I gave him an annoyed glare.

"Can you just go please" I said trying to hold back tears but Elliot knew me well even if it had been years he knew when I needed him.

"So you're with Cassidy now?" he asked and I realised I still had a picture of us on my coffee table.

"No" I said firmly letting him know that he needed to drop the subject.

"Listen I'm sorry I didn't call you I just thought you wouldn't wanna hear it I thought you'd think I was pathetic but you know what Kathy's dead my kids hate me I have no job so what have I got to lose and then I finally have the balls to face you and you push me away!" he yelled , his words hit me hard, much harder than I explained.

"I..I I didn't.." I couldn't get the words out.

"You know what coming here was a mistake" he said and it echoed through my head, I've always hated that word, mistake it reminded me of my mother because that was her name for me. Most mothers say darling or sweetheart but no mine was mistake or slut but to be honest I preferred it when she called me slut because I know I wasn't but sometimes I question whether or not I am a mistake. So as Elliot headed for the door I stopped him, I'd made too many mistakes to let him go.

"I hate that word" I said coldly and he just gave me a blank stare. I let him stay on the couch because I did feel bad for him I really did.

The next day I woke up to a text from Amanda, saying that William Lewis had escaped and I literally jumped out of bed I completely forgot that Elliot was staying on the couch. When I saw him standing in the kitchen I let out a scream. "Liv you OK?" he asked snapping me out of my nightmare.

"I have to go" I said in a panic getting on my coat and rushing out the door.

"Wait where're you going?" he called after me but I kept going. He came out after me and got into my car I knew he wasn't gonna leave me alone so I had to explain to him as I drove.

"Wait so this William Lewis guy what's so special about him? Rapists escape all the time what's so different?" he asked and my hands tightened around the steering wheel at the mention of Lewis' name.

"He's a sick perverted little-" I began but Elliot interrupted me.

"Wow Liv take it easy" he said as we pulled up outside the precinct. As we entered the squad room I was surrounded by cops in bulletproof vests.

"Hey what's going on?" Elliot asked but was ignored in the commotion.

"I'm gonna need to borrow your office for awhile" Murphy said and I was in no mood for this.

"Excuse me?" I asked annoyed "this is my squad room you can't just take over!" I yelled but it wasn't up to me to decide.

So now I was in protection as if that'll help me those two can't even take care of a plant! I was lucky enough to have Elliot there with me, it just seemed unrealistic that after all these years he decides to contact me the night Lewis escapes from prison? We went to a bar just around the corner from the precinct I sat there restlessly while the two cops flirted with one another and Elliot kept asking me if I was OK which of course I'm not. At that point I was fed up and I had to get to Amelia who Lewis had held captive. He texted me and I used the oldest trick in the book, I went to the bathroom and made my escape. When I got outside I pulled a guy out of his car and made my way to meet Lewis. I stepped out of the car and Lewis approached me with a gun. "Put your hands up Olivia " he said and I hated the way he said my name like I was one of his sex toys or something. It was all happening so fast I felt sick he searched me taking off my vest and throwing it and then my gun and suddenly my phone rang and Elliot's name popped up. "Found yourself a new boyfriend?" he asked throwing my phone now too. He took me to an abandoned wearhouse or a factory I'm not sure. It was like he had the upper hand he had all the control, with every cold touch I felt like my body wasn't mine anymore. I wasn't even sure if Amelia was still alive and the whole time all I thought about was Elliot. I'd never see him again I'd never hear his voice never look into his eyes never again.


	2. Chapter 2

**i dunno if this is any better I'd love if you guys review thx!**

Elliot's POV

Olivia was gone and with Lewis out there I knew exactly who she'd be with. I didn't think she'd take his bait but she did. I started to freak out at Murphy but Liv's new partner Amaro assured me that if she can do it once she'll do it again, only I didn't know there was a first time. We tracked Liv's phone and we saw someone's car just abandoned her vest, her phone, her gun the only thing I hope we don't find is her body in a ditch.

I got a signal on my radio and it was him, I knew it was and he was taunting me. "How about we keep this on so they can hear your screams." I told Murphy and he took my radio. At least she's alive was my initial thought but then I started to think maybe she'd be better off dead. I could hear him taunting us, taunting me!

"You figured it out yet detective Stabler?" he asked and I felt like I could just kill him with my bare hands.

"Listen to me if you touch her I'll splatter your face all over the sidewalk!" I yelled and he laughed dryly.

"I'm in control here not you! But if you wanna play god with Olivia's life that's fine by me!" he yelled and I heard a bang and a little squeal from Amelia. I slammed my radio on the table and put my head in my hands I had already lost Kathy I wasn't going to lose Olivia.

Olivia's POV

I could feel him forcing himself into me and the pain was unbearable. I had to hold back my pain for Amelia's sake but sometimes a cry of pain would escape me. I just wanted to die but I had to hang in there for Amelia I can't let her suffer because of me. Tears started streaming down my face. Lewis started to become a shadow above me I could hear my mother taunting me. "You're an idiot Olivia look at you, your weak I thought I raised you to look out for yourself that girl isn't important but of course you always tried to help everyone else and now your gonna die" she kept repeating and I felt myself drifting away, I couldn't feel the pain anymore I could just hear my mothers voice. "Your gonna die your gonna dir" and to be honest I believed it. Just as I was about to let go I heard Elliot's voice at first I thought it was just a twisted dream but I felt the wait of Lewis being lifted off me. I opened my eyes and I felt Lewis pull me up Elliot's gun was on the floor and Lewis had a gun to me, I know how it works.

"Just do it!" I yelled I knew Amelia would be safe if Elliot was there so I didn't mind dying anymore, I didn't have a family to live for no real purpose, all I had was my job which I probably wouldn't have after this. But Lewis didn't shoot he said he wanted to play a game and after Russian Roulette I had enough games. He tied Elliot up and made him watch he said it'd be worth seeing. It was better than his first idea of having Elliot rape me, he said it wouldn't be as much fun as doing it himself. Amelia started to scream loudly and became violently sick. Elliot tried to look away but each time he did Lewis would burn me with his cigarette. I think something in Elliot must've snapped because he managed to escape and get Lewis off me. He wasn't done there though he kicked him to the floor and started to beat him. I used all my strength to force myself off the floor and made my way to Amelia. "It's gonna be OK" I whispered as I untied her and all of a sudden I collapsed to the floor. Amelia knelt over me and started to cry. "Olivia!" she yelled as my eyes started to close. Elliot turned when he heard her and that's when Lewis hit him over the head. Now I couldn't move Elliot was on the floor and it was just a scared Amelia and an angry Lewis.

"Come'ere you little brat!" he yelled and Amelia started screaming.

"Help me someone please c'mon Olivia wake up!" she screamed and although I could hear and see everything I was completely paralysed. Just then Nick and Amanda burst in. They pulled Lewis off Amelia and Amanda ran to my side.

"Liv" she whispered pulling me up, my legs were shaking and I fell a few times but Amanda and Nick were at my side. While Murphy took Lewis and a few cops I've never met before took Elliot and Amelia. They helped me into a squad car and gave me a blanket. I had blood all over me, some was mine and some was his. But all I knew was that I was covered in blood and half of it wasn't mine.

I got to a hospital where they photographed my defence wounds and bloodstains. A young nurse approached me and started asking me all these questions which I had no intention of answering. "OK we're ready for you now if you're ready for your kit" she said and I felt like I could rip her hair extensions out of her head. "Hone... I don't have all day" she said.

"Either do I" I said and she smiled at me sarcastically.

"That's cute but for now can we just focus on getting this over with because to be honest I really don't care if it was rape or a messy relationship or both but could you move it along?" she asked and now I'd had enough.

"Have you been raped then beaten half to death?" I asked and she gave me a horrified look "didn't think so and I'm not sure if you're a virgin and you're trying your hardest to find someone to have sex with or you're just a slut either way you're not touching me" I yelled angrily and she gave me an annoyed look.

"I'm only trying to help you" she said trying to remain calm the way nurses do but of course when I say no I mean it and after Lewis I REALLY mean it!

"No! I swear if you touch me you're gonna die" I said and she backed off. Outside the door I heard her talk to Nick

"She seriously needs help" she said and I heard him snap.

"You look like you're missing your purse dog and to be honest what're you even doing with your life I hope one day you get raped and you go running to her for help the only difference is that she will help you because she's not an inconsiderate ass! And don't give me the only family excuse because she is my family now move!" he yelled as he entered the room to see me.

"You OK?" he asked and of course I wasn't but me being me of course I'd say I am.

"Yeah I'm fine" I said biting my lip.

"Liv you're not fine look at you" he said bringing me in for a hug, it hurt but I didn't care I felt comforted by him. Then it hit me Elliot!

"Where's Elliot?" I asked in a panic

"He's fine I promise" Nick said softly and though I trusted him with my life I still had a gut feeling something was terribly wrong.

"I need to see him right now" I said starting to become restless.

"OK I'll tell you what if you let the doctors finish their tests I will personality escort you to Elliot" he said and I smiled at him, Nick Amaro always had his way with words. So after all my tests he kept his word and took me to see Elliot. I still couldn't walk properly so he borrowed a wheelchair. We arrived at room 202 and that's when I saw him lying there, he was just as beaten and bruised as I was.

"Hey" I whispered quietly and he smiled at me.

"Nice you look cute in a wheelchair" he joked and I gave him a playful glare.

"Think about it Liv it's better than a squad care cause you can get down alleyways and still be on wheels" Nick said joining in.

"Or I could get pushed off a subway platform by an angry rapist" I suggested feeling annoyed and depressed.

"Don't think like that" Elliot said and I looked down.

"Well I might feel better if you paint flames on the side and maybe the NYPD logo" I smiled letting both of them know I was OK. Besides I could walk but the doctor said if I ever wanna get better I need to rest.


	3. Chapter 3

**sorry its kinda all over the place but iit's my first story so plz be nice also I'm glad you're all reading and I know you've liked my status on FB so thx but I'd really love reviews and ideas since I get writers block a lot! Oh and just thx again to anyone and everyone who reads! :-P **

Olivia's POV

All eyes were on me as I entered the squad room with Elliot at my side. I was so happy that he decided he'd come back but then I started thinking how awkward it'd be. Elliot had stayed at mine a few nights and I had stayed at his so we were never alone but even though he was with me I still felt alone. So when everyone surrounded me and El I let myself drift into my own world which probably wasn't a good idea.

"Liv?" Elliot asked when he saw how tensed up I was. I could hear him but I wasn't taking it in I just pictured my mother.

"You actually think he'll love you, he's already made the mistake of sleeping with you and he's gonna ditch when you tell him" she laughed fading away and my vision came back into focus.

"You OK?" Elliot asked me softly putting his hand on my shoulder.

"I feel kinda dizzy" I mumbled and Nick grabbed his chair and gave it to Elliot. "Thanks" I whispered and both Nick and Elliot gave me a nod and a smile. Murphy emerged from my office and asked Elliot if he had all his paperwork done.

"It's all here" he said handing Murphy some files about the time he spent with the NYPD. Nick turned to me and gave me a concerned look, I tried to hide my pained expression. My stomach was in knots and I felt like a little girl with stage fright who was called to sing in front of everyone in a school hall.

"You don't look to good" he said putting his hand on my forehead.

"What're you doing?" I asked confused and slightly freaked out by what he was doing.

"That's how I check Zara's temperature" he said and Fin started to laugh hysterically.

"She's a big girl she can take care of herself" Amanda said giving Nick a bit of a jealous glare and it made me wonder if something was going on with those two.

"You know what she's right" I said standing up but I could feel myself fall, I expected to hit the floor but instead I found myself in Nick's arms. I straightened up and Elliot walked towards me.

"What happened?" he asked as I steadied myself I couldn't answer because I myself had no clue of what was going on.

"I'll be fine" I swallowed but Elliot knew that, that wasn't true.

"Liv you need a doctor" he insisted and I agreed but I told him I'd only go if he'd let me go alone so it was settled.

I entered the doctors office and explained what was going on, he told me it was all natural but the next part shocked me. "You do know your pregnant don't you?" he asked and I wasn't sure how to answer I thought I was pregnant but I'd held off on taking the test. After explaining this to the doctor he completely understood and told me that he'd take me for scans.

"Good news Ms. Benson your baby is healthy and I'd say you're about three weeks along" at first I was overjoyed but then my mood changed. There was still a possibility that the baby wasn't Elliot's how could I tell him I wasn't sure if he was the father, it'd crush him. So now there was three men out there who's baby I could be carrying, Elliot, Brian or worst of all William. William never got the needle and I heard there'll be a trial to see if he gets parole since he claims he's turned his life around and that drugs made him do those horrible things to me but I know he's still the same lowlife who raped me.

Elliot's POV

Liv's been very distant with me lately and I'm worried there's something she's not telling me. When we went back to her place after a long day she didn't even say a word she just went straight to bed. I wish I could jump in with her but at this time I knew it was inappropriate I'd only ever slept with her once but I don't want it to end just like that. We haven't spoke about that night at all and even though I respect Liv's privacy I need to talk to her. I knocked at the bedroom door and she peeped her head out "I can't tonight El I'm sorry" she said slamming the door in my face. I don't want her to think I'm using her for sex because I'm not and that's not even what I was going to ask her.

"I wanna talk to you that's all" I called and she opened the door again, she wouldn't look me in the eye which I found frustrating. "Jesus liv just tell me" I pleaded and she looked up at me with fear in her eyes.

"I'm pregnant" she whispered and I was thrilled I mean I'd be the father of her child! Even though there was the slight possibility that it wasn't mine and that's how I started to piece things together. Tears rolled down her cheeks and I pulled her in close.

"It's OK it's not your fault" I whispered and I could feel her grip tighten around me but to be honest I didn't care once she was happy I was happy and that's all that mattered right now.

"I have to get abortion" she said and this shocked me even more, I knew she was upset but that hit me hard I couldn't let her do something I know she'd regret.

"No liv you can't say that" I said softly as she pulled away from me, I knew I had to take a delicate approach.

"I'm not gonna end up like my mother I'd rather the child never to be born than to be with me" she sighed and I felt so torn I wanted to help her because her happiness will make up for my screwed up life but what about an innocent life I can't let that happen.

"Don't say that, you're generous and caring and great with kids, I know my kids love you to pieces and after I left they'd always ask to visit you but I told them they weren't ready but really it was me who wasn't ready and I'm sorry but the point is your not like your mother you are your own person" I said, she gave me a sorrowful look so I knew I wasn't getting through to her. "Here's an idea we'll take a test to see who the father is and then if it's Lewis you'll go get an abortion if I'm the father you can keep the baby and if Cassidy's the father then you can let him have soul custody and you can visit when you like, even adoption just don't rush into things there's plenty of other options" I suggested, she started warming up to the idea and after our talk we decided to get some rest for work the next day.

Olivia's POV

I entered the squad room ready to make my big announcement to the team, of course I didn't wanna but Elliot's right it's better to just tell everyone now rather than later. "OK so what's so important?" Nick asked. "OK just tell them why are you being such an idiot" I kept telling myself but it didn't make a difference I couldn't find the words.

"Um... Liv?" Amanda asked snapping me back to reality.

"I'm pregnant" I said and everyone stared, for awhile they were speechless which I can completely understand but after that they kept talking about me being a mom and awkward questions came up.

"Well you and Elliot were busy in the bedroom by the looks of things" Fin said and Elliot shot him an angry glare before I got the chance to.

"Actually I dunno who the father is" I admitted although saying that made me feel sick and I felt like I got a bad name for myself it was better than lying to the people I care about most. After that no one talked about it much except for Murphy when he asked when I'd be going on maternity leave, which I wasn't sure how to answer since I was considering abortion. I didn't want to but I knew it was important I'd have to go see Lewis.

I sat down across from Lewis his eyes piercing my soul, all the memories were hitting me like a tonne of bricks. "So you just couldn't stay away huh?" he asked with a smug look on his face I hate that look it gave me chills.

"Actually no" I sighed and he gave me a questioning look I knew I'd just have to come out and say it. "I'm pregnant" I whispered and he started to laugh at me I felt so angry with him but I had to stay calm and just get it over with.

"So you're all knocked up" he said continuing to laugh "what makes you think I'm the father?" he asked which made me tense up inside, I knew it was a mind game but I just played along not paying attention to his taunting comments.

"Because you raped me" I said ending the conversation at that.


	4. Chapter 4

**i know it's short I'm sorry oh well iit'll feed your minds :-) thx to anyone and everyone who reviewed I'd love to hear more from you! :-P **

Elliot's POV

I hadn't seen Olivia all day until she called and said she needed me to come with her to Brian's place so that's exactly what I did. When I entered his house I seen the two in a heated argument "I just need a DNA sample that's all it's not gonna kill you" Olivia yelled neither of them noticing I was standing outside the front door, which was left wide open drawing in attention. I had to pull them apart when things got physical but then Cassidy turned on me.

"You can't play innocent here did you even tell her about Kathy" he yelled and I looked down avoiding Olivia's questioning gaze.

"What about Kathy?" she asked and Brian laughed at the fact that I hadn't told Olivia the full story.

"He was the prime suspect for her murder and the two were last seen fighting outside their house, but here's the best part he used you to get off" he said and I felt like I could kill him. These feelings left me when I saw the look of hurt on Olivia's face.

"What? How? No he-he wouldn't" Olivia stuttered and I'd never seen her so stuck for words.

"You see when you signed that recommendation file so Elliot could come back to the force he was able to forge your signature and he used it to get him off" Brian explained and I froze both Olivia and I were speechless. "He used you he handed in a written statement saying he was with you that night and that's where your signature came in" he explained and I felt more sick with each word.

"Is this true?" she asked and I was torn but I knew she had to hear the truth.

"Yes but-" I began but she cut me off but I knew she would.

"You told me she committed suicide" she whispered as I tried to find the right words.

"She did but I walked in and I saw her lying there, her blood was everywhere buy all the evidence pointed to me, I had to do something" I tried but she wouldn't have it.

"You lied to me! I trusted you I let you in, I'm such an idiot!" she yelled tears streaming down her face.

"Liv wait it's not like that" I called after her as she headed towards the door.

"I've nothing to say to either of you" she said as she continued to walk away, she didn't look back once. Brian just gave me a grin before kicking me out, I went home and sat on the couch, only it didn't feel like home without Olivia being there, everything was so empty. I looked up at the clock, it was 12:30 and still no word from liv, I was worried what she might do, after all with an alcoholic mother like hers she must've been affected in some way. Then I started to think about the baby I decided to check the bar around the corner from the precinct.

"Yeah she was in here, she just left" he said and I had to find her so I tried to get more out of him. "She said something about getting DNA from Brian if it killed her, she must've been pretty pissed cuz that makes no sense" he laughed, but I wasn't laughing and I think I had a good idea of what she was gonna do next...


	5. Chapter 5

**I'm sorry it took so long for me to update. This is set eight months later because once the baby is born the drama really begins! Thanks for the reviews I know it's a bit short sorry I'll be making the next one longer for the action!**

Olivia's POV

I felt sick as I looked at the test results, Lewis was the father of my child and I couldn't get an abortion even though I'd never actually go through with killing an innocent child but just the fact that I didn't have a choice is what scared me the most. I was a week away from my due date and I wasn't talking to Elliot or Brian I had no one, Nick and Amanda were supportive but they have their own lives.

I struggled to enter the squad room with files and baby books. Elliot helped me out but he didn't say much just stared at me. I wasn't going to say anything because he's the one who needs to apologise for lying to me, I would've covered him if he'd just told me the truth but I don't think he gets it. "Liv someone's lookin' for you!" Murphy called and I entered the office taking the phone from him. "It was you wasn't it you killed her!" yelled a voice and I knew then and there it was Kathleen.

"Kathleen?" I asked but the line died, I was so confused she was 25 and she was acting like she was a 13-year-old who was prank calling me. I wanted to tell Elliot but he was gone, Fin told me he'd gone to see Elliot. Jr. at Maureen's place so that's where I was headed.

I knocked on the door and Lizzie answered, she smiled slightly when she saw me "hey" she whispered pulling me in for a hug. "Congrats by the way" she smiled and I nodded not really interested in explaining the whole situation.

"Thanks" I whispered as she invited me in.

"Dad Liv's here!" she called entering the sitting room. Little Elliot ran towards me and gave me a big hug but Elliot wasn't happy with me.

"So now you're talking to me?" he asked coldly and I swear if kooks could kill..

"Dad" Maureen said clearly annoyed by his rude remarks.

"Can I talk to you alone for a sec?" I asked and Lizzie and Maureen took Elliot Jr. out of the room.

"El I don't wanna do this without you" I said softly but he wouldn't look at me at first. "Please" I whispered as he looked at me right in the eyes.

"I'm sorry" he smiled embracing me in a warm hug, just to feel his arms around me made me feel safe. Then it happened I was in labour and I'm just glad Elliot was there. I felt myself fall and immediately everyone knew what was going on.

"C'mon let's get you to a hospital" Elliot said helping me up, he drove me to the hospital with Elliot, Maureen and Lizzie in the back while he and I were in the front. I could feel the pain coursing through me as we quickly made our way to Mercy General.

Elliot's POV

Olivia was in the delivery room now and I was called in. She squeezed my hand so tightly I thought that every bone would break but I know she was in a much more painful situation so I kept quiet after all I'd done this all before.

" come on Olivia your nearly there just keep pushing" the nurse said softly and Olivia screamed so loud I'm pretty sure she could be heard from the precinct they're probably just sitting there thinking is someone being murdered? After all that pushing and screaming she gave birth to a beautiful baby girl I cut the cord and I already knew the name we had chosen earlier on and it suited her perfectly. "Charlotte how lovely" the nurse smiled handing little Charlie to Olivia.

"She's beautiful" Olivia whispered as she held our precious little girl, I smiled warmly at the two I didn't care if she wasn't mine biologically as Olivia had explained all that mattered was that I loved her like she was my own.


	6. Chapter 6

**I'm sorry there iisn't much drama I did build it up at the end though and you'll get to see how obsessed the beast really is oh and thx for all the reviews and I'm open to anything and everything you have to say once your not a bully also sorry for the length being so you know short but with school I haven't had much time to write OK I better shut up and get on with it! Enjoy! :-P **

Olivia's POV

We took Charlie home for the first time and Elliot Jr. was so excited to meet her what I've went through over the past year is all finally worth it. We're together as a family now and that's all I really wanted in the first place. I went to have a nap while Elliot watched the kids.

After two hours of trying to sleep I decided to get up and tend to Charlie and Elliot. I'm sure Elliot could do with a sleep after all we didn't sleep in two days. "Liv what're you doing up?" Elliot asked holding Charlie closely.

"El I'm fine really I am just get some sleep" I said taking Charlie from him.

"You sure?" he asked concerned and I nodded giving him a smile. Little Elliot was watching cartoons so all my attention was on Charlie. I held her close to me whispering sweet nothings to her, when I noticed she was breathing heavily. I thought at first she was just a bit blocked up but she was getting worse her screams of pain piercing my ears and when she started turning red I knew something was wrong.

"Elliot!" I screamed as tears streamed down my face and fear was consuming me.

Elliot's POV

I was awoken by Olivia screaming my name. I immediately got to my feet and rushed to her side. I saw her pained expression and Charlie's red face. "What happened?" I asked trying to stay calm she just gave me a confused glance before running to the door. I took Elliot's hand and we followed her outside into the car. We couldn't wait for an ambulance because it'd take too long so we just rushed through the streets until we reached the hospital.

"You have to help my baby" Olivia said, I could hear the fear in her voice as the nurse took Charlie from her.

After two hours of waiting the doctor approached us with an unreadable expression on his face "she had an asthma attack she'll be OK" he explained and I sighed with relief she'd be OK and asthma or not at least she was gonna be OK.

"Can I see her?" Olivia asked and the doctor frowned sadly.

"I'm sorry but we have her in ICU because of her young age it'll take her longer to recover and we need to make sure that she can breathe on her own, but you can look at her from an isolated room" the doctor suggested and I could tell Olivia wanted to snap but I stopped her.

"It's better than nothing" I whispered and she agreed to come see Charlie.

Olivia's POV

We entered the room and through the glass, seeing her like that made me just want to break down and cry but that's not the kind of person I am. I just hope Lewis doesn't get his hands on her. He would do anything to break me and now I actually have a weakness, someone that's worth living for and I'm not letting him or anyone take that away from me. We stayed for awhile just watching her sleep before we called it a day. I didn't want to leave but I knew we'd be taking her home tomorrow so I just had to last a night.

We went to my place and Elliot tucked Elliot Jr. in and got him settled before he and I went to sleep. My mind was full of scary thoughts, thoughts I'd never share with anyone not even Elliot. I tossed and turned until I heard Elliot Jr crying. I went to go check him but Elliot stopped me. "Liv it's OK I got it" he said kissing me softly. "Daddy's comin!" he called walking towards the door.

"No I need liv!" he called and Elliot turned to face me giving me a fake sad face. I walked in and saw him under the covers shaking and crying.

"What happened" I whispered taking the blanket off him and sitting on the bed.

"I saw a man in my window" he cried embracing me in a tight hug, I wrapped my hands around him and spoke softly.

"Your OK there's no one there it was just a dream" I whispered, repeating it as I tried to believe it myself.

"Will you stay with me" he asked and I nodded hopping in beside him. He snuggled in close to me and we both started to drift off.

Nobody's POV

Olivia and little Elliot slept soundly cuddled up together with the blinds down at Elliot's request. Elliot went to see how they were doing and it warmed his heart to see them like that so he headed to bed alone for a long nights sleep.

At the hospital.

"I'm hear to Charlotte Benson" said a mam at the front desk.

"Yes sir and what's your name?" the receptionist asked typing away at her computer.

"Wallis Lancaster" he said and she nodded getting a nurse to take him to see Charlie. They entered the room and he stood at her bedside the nurse looked him up and down.

"So how'd you know the family?" she asked and he gave a smile it was his usual twisted smile.

"Oh me and Olivia go back a long way" he answered and the nurse smiled thinking that he was an old family friend.

"You can hold her if you like" the nurse said and he picked up the tiny little baby, I'm sure you all know Wallis Lancaster is indeed William Lewis.

Olivia entered the hospital and was told that Charlie had a visitor, she knew by the initials exactly who it was so she ran to the room to find Lewis holding Charlie, her baby!


	7. Chapter 7

**OK you might hate me right now but i promise there's a twist to the ending so plz give me a chance, and enjoy!**

Nobody's POV

What're you doing here?" she asked knowing that he was in full control when he had Charlie.

"Oh come on you didn't think I was never gonna get my hands on her did you?" he asked with a smirk.

"Whadda you want?" she sighed knowing that it'd be best if she just did as he said.

"Very good answer" he said and the nurse gave the two a horrified look standing between them.

"This is a baby not a bargaining chip!" she yelled and Lewis took out a gun.

"How about now?" he asked and she stood back not wanting to get shot. Olivia was completely defenceless, he had the upper hand, he had a gun but worst of all he had Charlie.

"Just let her go" Olivia begged her detective side had vanished and her motherly instincts kicked in.

"Aw how adorable I wish I had a mirror so I could show you how pathetic you look" he laughed enjoying every minute of it.

"Just put her down, I don't want her involved in this I'll do what ever you want what ever crazy perverted fantasies you have just don't hurt her" Olivia said desperately and Lewis laughed dryly.

"Hmm.. OK then I'll tell you what you come with me for a drive no escaping, no metal bars and no Stabler is that understood?" he asked and she nodded slowly. "Good now put your gun, your phone everything on the floor" he ordered and she did as she was told. He handed Charlie over to the nurse and walked out with Olivia and her gun. The confused young nurse took Charlie to the main desk for information on the family of Charlotte Benson.

Meanwhile at the squad room Elliot was worried when Olivia never called so he decided to call her himself. The phone rang for a few minutes before it was answered

"Ah Stabler I was wondering when you'd call" laughed a masculine voice and instantly he knew it was Lewis.

"Whadda you want?" Elliot asked wondering if there was anything he could do to stop Lewis from doing something he'd regret.

"I don't want anything" Lewis replied hanging up the phone. Elliot bolted to Murphy's office and told him what he'd heard.

"OK call everyone in they need to drop everything " he ordered and Elliot nodded rushing to tell everyone. The only person who didn't come back to the squad room was Amanda but the team were too busy to care.

"The signal is comin from Rollins' place" Fin said once they'd tracked the phone. In finding this, it was the first place they were going to look...

Amanda's POV

I watched him drag her away, I was on the floor I felt so helpless as the door slammed behind him I couldn't help feel like it was my fault. I tried to reach for her phone but it was on the couch and I couldn't build the strength to reach it. I laid there for a good half an hour before I managed to grab it. The screen was cracked and it wouldn't let me call for help. I know I shouldn't have but I went through her phone just to see what was going on before he took her. I looked through some pictures and my heart nearly stopped as I saw pictures of her and Elliot and pictures of the kids and I knew I couldn't give up that easily. I forced myself up and stumbled towards the door. I was so close and then I buckled, everything becoming a shadow.

"Amanda" I was awakened by Elliot calling me as my vision came back into focus I started to panic having trouble separating flashbacks from reality.

"It's OK I gotcha" Nick said softly helping me up as Elliot paced back and forward. After that everything is just a blur to me.

Elliot's POV

I knew I was running out of time but Amanda was getting us nowhere "where is she" she kept saying over and over but if I knew the answer to that question I never would be in this situation. I knew I was in way over my head but I love her and I'd do anything to keep her safe anything.

"Elliot, there's a body..." Fin trailed and I felt myself split in two.

"No it can't be" I said in anguish but he nodded sadly.

"We don't know if it's her yet" he continued and I started to become agitated.

"How can you not know for god's sake!" I yelled causing everyone to stare at me.

"Well if it is her, she was so badly beaten that we need to have a DNA test to see if it's her" Nick said and I knew that it was most likely her, what'd be the odds. Even though I knew her chances were slim I thought of a case we worked a good few years ago and there was two little girls who looked exactly alike with no connection whatsoever.

I nervously peered at the results I was relieved to see that it wasn't a match but the woman who was murdered was raped by Lewis and was wearing Liv's necklace with her blood on it. I think it was a warning and I wasn't sure if I could handle it anymore. The fear and guilt were eating away at me like vultures eating a dead creature and that's how I felt dead.

Olivia's POV

I knew I wasn't going to live and if I did I'd probably end up in a psychiatric ward and be blocked from society. I just wanted to curl up and die but then I thought of Charlotte, she can't live her life without her mother. I thought of Elliot he already lost Kathy I couldn't let him lose anyone else. Lewis approached me with his piercing eyes "why me?" I asked desperate to understand why he couldn't have picked anyone else in the NYPD.

"Because it's fun, your experienced I like that, but you know what I love the most, is that your with an inch of your life and they save you but not this time" he smirked and I thought if I was gonna die I might as well except it, I've had a great life and I've achieved all my goals.

"You know when you asked me about my father?" I asked completely ignoring his statement. He nodded along as I spoke "he raped my mom then killed himself but you know what I'd still prefer if he raised me instead of my sorry excuse for a mother" I sighed letting all my anger go.

"Well I'll be sure to tell the detectives that you're buried far, far away from your parents, just if that helps" he smiled making a joke out of it. I didn't say anything until I realised how I was gonna die. "Remember this little guy?" He asked picking up a metal bar almost identical to the one I beat him with. He stood over me hitting me repetitively and one blow to the head and I knew I was out.

Elliot's POV

Lewis called me on my radio and all I could hear screens of pain from Olivia. After only 5 minutes the screaming had stopped and I knew, she was either dead or unconscious. When we finally did get to Lewis he was alone with no sign of Olivia whatsoever. Her blood was all over him though I kept telling myself she'd be alive but I was having doubts. I had Lewis in cuffs and I just lost it "where is she!" I yelled hitting him in the face causing him to stumble backwards.

"You'll never find her" he smiled and I pushed him to the floor and started kicking him, I just couldn't control my rage but I needed to know.

"I buried her" he said between gasps of air.

"Where?!" I yelled standing over him he just looked up at me and smiled.

"You know I'd love to have met her father, I think we'd have things in common" he laughed. I thought it was a hint but I knew that he didn't know where her father was buried. We searched with search dogs and nothing just blood trails leading in different directions. When we'd found Lewis he was in Liv's place blood still on his clothes, so we knew she couldn't be far off. Amanda suggested a park which was a few blocks away I didn't think it'd make a difference but I said I'd go.

Another hour went by and there was still no sign, until I heard Amanda call to me from across the park.

"Look a finger!" she gasped brushing away a light layer of dust revealing a hand. We were waiting on tools to dig deeper but I couldn't wait that long, I knew that she'd have air but only for a certain amount of time. So I got down on my hands and knees and dug after 2 hours of nonstop digging we found her beaten and bruised. I knelt down and held her in my arms while we waited for help. I could hear her struggling for air and I tried to keep her focused on me.

"Liv you're doing great just look at me OK you gotta keep your eyes open, c'mon" I encouraged but her eyes started to shut despite her determination.

"I'm sorry El" she whispered to me but I didn't want to let her go I just wanted her to stay with me.

"Please don't do this to me" I begged tilting her head a bit.

"Elliot I'm dying" she whispered and even though I knew she was right I didn't want to believe it.

"No it's OK you can do this" I said but I knew I was losing her.

"Give Charlie a kiss from mommy OK?" she whispered softly and I nodded.

"I love you" I whispered kissing her forehead.

"I love you too" she whispered as her eyes began to close I pulled her in closer to me stroking her hair, I knew there and then it was our last moment together and I'd never see her again, I'd never hear her laugh, I'd never get lost in her chocolate brown eyes, I'd never hold her again.

The paramedics finally came and she was barely breathing they lifted her into the ambulance and rushed off, her blood was on my hands and it was jusQt another reminds that I was letting her die.

**so a qquestion you need to think about is does she make it? Or another question what lengths will people have to go through to keep Lewis at bay? Now you understand why I say you might hate me! It will all reveal itself by the end oh and soz if that was too fast paced but it's the best version of it that I've written.**


	8. Chapter 8

**I think you guys might enjoy this one! Soz if there's any grammar mistakes sometimes my editor has a mind of it's own! Also hopefully this isn't too short for you, I just had to give you guys some satisfaction on the whole Liv's dead situation!**

Nobody's POV

Elliot paced nervously inside the waiting room "she'll pull through" Nick said positively and Elliot shot him an anxious glare.

"And what if she doesn't?" he mumbled no one spoke after that there was nothing they could possibly say in this situation.

"Lieutenant, a word?" he asked and Murphy nodded walking just outside the waiting room as they left Elliot became more tense.

"We've stabilised her and we're transferring her to a better facility in DC" he explained and Murphy nodded along.

"I need you to do something form me" he asked and the doctor smiled.

"Yes of course anything I can do to help" he agreed not expecting the answer he was gonna get.

"I need you to tell them she didn't make it" he said with a serious tone.

"Of course I'll um... Let them know" he said preparing to tell the anxious team. He entered the room and Elliot immediately approached him.

"Is she OK? Why were you talking to Murphy, if something's going on I need to know" he said and the doctor could hear the fear in his voice.

"She didn't make it, I'm sorry" he said sadly and Murphy had to admit he was a good actor.

"No Jesus" he said sitting down his face turning pale from shock.

"I'm terribly sorry sir" he said before leaving the room. The team were speechless but Elliot took it worst of all he'd rushed off no one knew where or why.

"Daddy where's mommy liv?" Elliot junior asked and Elliot just couldn't face him.

"She's not your mother" he said his hands tightening around the steering wheel.

"I know but she's my other mommy" he said innocently and Elliot didn't reply.

"She had to go away" he finally said to his confused little boy.

"Did mommy liv go away like mommy?" he asked sadly and Elliot nodded.

"Yes she did but it's OK she'll come back later just like mommy" he said not wanting to have to explain death to his son at such a young age.

He picked Charlie up from the hospital and headed to Maureen's place.

"Dada what're you doing here?" she asked seeing Charlie and Elliot Jr with him.

"I just need you to watch them for a few hours" he sighed and she looked confused.

"What about liv?" she asked unaware of the situation

"Liv's dead" Elliot swallowed and Maureen saw the depression in his eyes.

"Dad I-I'm sorry I had no idea" she said hugging him while trying to avoid hitting Charlie's car seat. She let him and made him some tea so they could sit down and talk.

"What happened?" she asked and Elliot looked down avoiding her questioning gaze.

"I don't wanna talk about it" he mumbled and Maureen nodded respecting his boundaries. She decided to turn on the news and the two were shocked when Olivia's story had leaked.

"I'm sorry I'll just-" she began but Elliot stopped her

"Turn it up" he said wanting to know how the media stretched the truth this time.

"Olivia Benson was killed on the job today and sources say she was buried alive. We don't know much but William Lewis her attacker made a statement earlier today saying I didn't kill her she did that on her own and there was no force, after hearing this statement and receiving pictures from an anonymous tipper showing the two walking voluntarily towards a car, neither one with a weapon. That's why we wonder could the NYPD have staged the killing would they really kill a detective for revenge?" a reporter went on and on until Elliot just couldn't take it anymore.

"Turn it off I can't watch this" he said putting his head in his hands. He wondered when it was gonna end all the media, all the lies, false statements and tips, IAB hunting them down, the whole lot.


	9. Chapter 9

**ok so I know it's short but I need suggestions I was thinking of skipping it oon to when Charlie is older also it's short cuz my files were deleted :-( **

Nobody's POV

It had been two weeks since Olivia was placed under the witness protection programme and she had no contact to anyone she knew not even those closest to her. She missed Elliot terribly and just wanted to run home to him. She knew that this would be impassable for as long as William Lewis was still alive.

Meanwhile Elliot was staying with Maureen when he got a phone call that'd shock him. "Who was that?" Maureen asked when Elliot put down the phone.

"That was Murphy he says that Lewis filed for custody of Charlie" he sighed taking Charlie from her car seat.

"He can't do that though right? I mean he's on parole he's on the sex offenders list he can't take care of a child" she said in shock and rage.

"There's no proof that he raped liv and they have evidence which makes it look like it was consensual" he sighed bringing Charlie in closer to him.

"I'm sorry but if it makes you feel better I'll be here for you" she said. He smiled kissing Charlie's head softly he loved her like she was his own and he wasn't going to let her fall into the hands of a pervert like William Lewis.

Maureen sat Elliot junior on her knee and was talking to him about how he was a great big brother. "I promised mommy liv I'd take care of her" he said sweetly and Maureen's heart sank Elliot had already lost his mother and then his mother figure. She just continued to talk to him trying not to show her sadness.

"Did she? Well can I just say that you're doing a great job" she smiled ruffling his hair.

"Will you be my new mommy?" he asked and Maureen pulled him in close tears running down her face.

"I can't be your mommy silly" she said smiling through her tears.

"Why're you sad" he said trying to dry her tearstained face with his sleeve.

"No, no I'm not sad I just miss mommy too" she said and he nodded kissing her forehead. Elliot looked over at the two and his depression really started to kick in. He missed both Olivia and Kathy and now he had nobody at all besides his children who're suffering from losing their mother themselves.

"C'mon let's go" he said taking Elliot from Maureen and heading towards the door with Elliot and Charlie.

"Where're you goung?" she asked in confusion and Elliot smiled weakly.

"Out don't worry I'll call you tomorrow" he replied closing the door behind him..


	10. Chapter 10

**i know this may be short and fast paced but I've got a great nnew line up of chapters on the way also you NEED TO KNOW THIS CHAPTER IS SET 13 YEARS LATER! JUST TO MAKE IT MORE INTERESTING OK ENJOY!:-) **

Charlotte's POV

I woke up early on a Saturday morning, all I knew was that my dad was taking me to some trial of a guy called William Lewis. I asked him why this guy wanted custody of me and what he said next shocked me. " he's your father..." he trailed my jaw dropped in amazement.

"What!" I yelled tears starting to form in my eyes "why didn't you tell me?" I asked one question after another without taking a breath.

"Because he's a rapist" he mumbled and I was shocked and scared.

"She didn't die in a car accident? Did she..." I trailed already predicting the answered.

"No" he answered in a whisper his hands tightening around the steering wheel.

"Did she die cause of me? She did didn't she oh god I'm a killer" I said tears streaming down my face as I spoke.

"No, no she died when you were at least two weeks old" he explained and a gasp escaped me.

"Like that's any better!" I yelled "13 years of my life is a complete lie!" I screamed causing my dad well at least that's who I thought he was to pull over.

"You listen to me I lied to protect you" he said but I wasn't satisfied. I looked away not wanting to face him so the car ride was eerie and silent until we reached the court room.

"Detective Stabler you're the custodial parent correct?" the judge asked and after that I tuned out until I was out of the blue asked to make a statement.

"I don't know Mr. Lewis and I never knew my mother but I know that if it's true all those things he did to her then he's not suitable to be a father I'm living proof" I swallowed.

"Do you have a closing statement?" the defence asked.

"Yes I do" I said speaking up "everyone who knew my mother always said, they always said that all she wanted was.." I trailed bursting into tears "a family and he took that away from her I'm not letting him take me from her either!" I yelled and with that I was "escorted" out. I sat on the steps outside the courthouse with Amanda before an ACS worker came and took my hand.

"Charlotte we're going to find you a great new home" said the warm lady but I didn't want a knew home.

"There must be some mistake Elliot is her legal guardian" Amanda said but the ACS worker shook her head.

"Not anymore she's coming with me" she said and just as she spoke I saw him leave the courthouse.

"Dad! " I screamed but he was being held by two other men. "Daddy!" I yelled knowing he wouldn't get to me so I screamed and kicked and fought.

"Charlotte it's OK I'm here to help you" the lady said but I kept pulling away.

"Let me go!" I yelled breaking free of her grasp I ran and ran, not even sure where I was going. There were shouts of Charlotte and Charlie from both Amanda and the ACS worker. I kept running until I couldn't hear their voices anymore. I just wanted it to end, I breathed heavily leaning against a wall for balance. I sat outside a coffee shop and fiddled with my necklace that used to belong to my mom, it's what I did when I was nervous which I definitely was. I waited and waited for someone to come yelling at me saying how childish I was but no one came.

I had a few missed calls but when I got a call from an unknown number I was intrigued. "Hello?" I asked and was horrified by what I heard...

"Who is this?" I asked shakily and all I got in response was a dry laugh.

"Now you listen to me you're gonna do as I say you understand?" he asked and frightened by his words and threatening tone I did as he said. I told him my address and number, I know I shouldn't have but I knew it was William Lewis and I knew what he was capable of besides I had bigger things to deal with...

Olivia's POV

The door slowly opened revealing a 13-year-old Charlie at first everything was silent, I was worried she'd be mad and that she wouldn't understand but it was in fact the exact opposite. "Mom!" she exclaimed running towards me, hugging me tightly.

"You know you can't stay Olivia you have to wake up, c'mon wake up" Lewis' voice echoed through my head he pulled a gun on me then bang!

I sat upright realising it was just a dream, I looked up to see Sarah (a friend of mine) standing over me "Rachel we gotta get back to work" she said but I wasn't taking it in.

"What?" I asked in confusion not registering that Rachel was the name I had been using for 13 years.

"Are you feeling OK?" Sarah asked me but I didn't have time for questions.

"I've gotta find Charlie" I said grabbing my coat and running out the door. I got in my car and drove full speed trying to make sure I got to Charlie before he did. There was just something that kept haunting me I kept replaying the thought of him torturing her and I wondered who'd get there first. I was hoping I could just grab Charlie and hide her somewhere at least that's what I hoped to do if he wasn't there already...


	11. Chapter 11

**i know iit's ANOTHER short chapter but I'm finished now I might write a sequel but I'm not too sure yet because I need to focus on finishing my other stories.**

Charlotte's POV

I walked home but I couldn't walk in I was worried that those social workers would come and take me away. I put my hand on the door not sure if I should open it, but I did. I saw a group of social workers surrounding someone signing some forms while my dad paced back and forth.

"OK that's the last of it you're now her legal guardian" the social worker announced like it was so fantastic that I was been taken away from my home.

"I'm not going anywhere I said hugging my dad not wanting to ever let go. I could hear them talking and when I finally let go I recognised the woman in front of me I just didn't think it was possible.

"Mom?!" I gasped running toward her then I stopped myself "no you're- it can't- I mean this whole time!" I yelled tears streaming down my face.

"I know" she whispered, I was so shocked I must've fainted because everything after that was blurry.

I woke up in my room and could hear muffled voices, so I poked my head around the door and saw a bunch of people surrounding my mom who seemed just as shocked as I was

"Liv it's OK" Nick whispered not exactly sure how to react. I slowly walked towards them, the social worker moved so I could pass. I sat on the couch next to her and looked deep into her eyes.

"Why now?" I asked and she smiled at me slightly.

"I couldn't let him take you" she whispered and I looked quizzically at her, getting frustrated. "But he tried to get custody of me when I was a baby too" I said angrily.

"I know and I'm so sorry but if I stayed he definitely would've taken you" she said and I didn't know how to respond. My mother who was dead the past 13 years suddenly shows up at the door to come take me away.

After talking to her and packing up I left Manhattan and maybe it was better off that way. I waved goodbye and we drove off not looking back. I was off to start my new life in DC even though I secretly hoped we'd stay in New York but I knew that for as long as William Lewis was alive it'd be unrealistic to stay.


End file.
